Ryan

There are a lot of things in this world that I do not understand...I am one of them. I get a lot of enjoyment from this pet project of mine, so, if you say anything within earshot of me, be prepared to be quoted.

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Ryan - Pie rhymes with pie.

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Mum - Had your kalawalla? (medicationishy stuff, but more herbal than med)

Me - [nods]

Dad - Had your kalawalla?

Me & Mum - [laughing]

Mum - He has.

Dad - Well I didn't hear anything.

Me - You weren't looking.

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Ryan - My penis is NOT a fire engine!

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Ryan - [Looking at a Spiderman box] - Hmm...sixty-seven points of articulation. Whoopee. Next year it'll be the NEW AND IMPROVED one with sixty-eight points of articulation.

Aidan - I hate to think what that extra point of articulation would be.

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----Old Quotes below this point----

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Rachael - Do you usually leave the door open?

Jac - Yeah...you don't want weirdos wandering in.

Ryan - Jac, I'm already inside...get over it.

Jac - That's a better idea. Let's kick you outside first, then shut the door.

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Ryan - [Watching David play pool by himself] This is really competitive, isn't it?

David - Yeah, and I think we're both a bit tipsy.

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Ryan - Your pussy tried to bite me!

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Ryan - [Runs outside train to put a spilt gummy bear in the bin, then runs back inside.]

Jac - How funny would it have been if the doors closed? I would have laughed.

Alan - I would have held the door open...just long enough to throw your bags outside.

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Rachael - You can really feel the bass.

Ryan - But what if I don't want to be felt?

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Mel - Ew, daddy, no!

Ryan - What's that from?

Dusty – It's from when Shannon was a kid.

Shannon - [Hits Dusty]

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Ryan - I'm missing out of a lot of visual comedy.

Alan - Don't worry. [Looking at Jac] The visual quality isn't as good in this corner.

Jac - Thanks.

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Mel - What's up?

Jac - ...the roof...and...

Ryan - Stuff.

Jac - ...the occasional plane, maybe

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[Mel's phone rings]

Ryan - Is your breast ringing?

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Alan - Ryan! Pick up the pace!

Ryan - [Looks down] Where?

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Alan - What time did you get here?

Ryan - About half-pa...

Alan - Not interested! My phone is ringing.

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Ryan - I like dangly things. I have a fascination with dangly things.

Peter - The good thing about my dangly bits is...they come off...I have detachable dangly bits. [sings] Detachable penis!

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Ryan - I need to make it bigger.

*************************OLD QUOTES BELOW THIS POINT*************************

Ryan - I thought she said she was going to construct a natural minor scale with her bottom.

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Graham - It is apparent from his accidentals that Shakespeare smoked opium.

Ryan - Perhaps his accidentals smoked opium.

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Ryan - It doesn't exactly roll off the tong. [One of my many tongue tied moments that night]

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Alan - Like a meerkat.

Ryan - Yeah, he looks a bit like a meerkat, doesn't he?

Graham - My mom's obsessed with meerkats...hang on.

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Ryan - Hang on, you're all talking too fast, you're backing me up...I mean, oh, damn.

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Ryan - Shut up so I forget...damn, I mean so I don't forget.

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Alan - Don't trust any recorded voice unless it's your own.

Ryan - So are you saying to other people not to trust you...like if you yourself make a recording?

Alan - Yes.

Ryan - Well, I suppose that would be a fair call.

Alan - Well, I am a man of contradictions.

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Alan - [coughing and spluttering] Blaughah...Jesus...

Ryan - You were saying?

Alan - We start at 10:30, don't we?

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Ryan - Oh look, it's Graham...he looks rather confused.

Alan - Yes, he does looks rather confused. Confused is his second name, or middle name, as the case may be.

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Alan - That was out of context, and will be dealt with accordingly.

Ryan - You're out of context.

Alan - Thank you.

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Ryan - I only had one hiccup...only one! [That was] Highly irregular

Alan - As the case may be.

Ryan - Indeed.

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Graham - You need to do 'Manushi' for the straight guy.

Manushi - But I'm not a man!

Ryan - All you need to be is...

Graham/Ryan - Manushi!

Manushi [I could be] Man-ushi.

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Manushi - That's what gets me really angry: People who don't clean.

Ryan - I wish I had a piece of rubbish so that I could drop it right next to you, but I don't have a piece of rubbish readily available.

Alan - You could drop yourself down there, then.

---

Manushi - Your lip is hurt.

Ryan - Yeah, I get dry lips.

Manushi - You need to use Vaseline.

Ryan - I've run out.

Graham - He uses it for other things.

Ryan - [nods]

---

Graham - So much serenity.

Manushi - [Demonic Voice] Serenity now!

Ryan - [Demonic Voice] There is no serenity, only Zuul!

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Graham - They call me 'planet boy'

Ryan - Why do they call you that?

Graham - Because I come from a planet.

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Ryan - Handel Opera...SCORES!

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Ryan - As we develop as sinners?

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Ryan - You know how a sneeze is meant to be one eighth an orgasm? Then why after intercourse don't we go, "That was fantastic honey! Bless you! Bless you! Bless you! Bless you! Bless you! Bless you! Bless you! Bless you!"?

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Manushi - I have a very unique voice when I sing and talk.

Ryan - Or when you just exist.

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Ryan - Melani, my bone fell apart.

Mel - Mybad.

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Ryan - Bach was just a sheep that got a frog stuck in his throat.

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Alan - I see you've stepped in some dog shit.

Ryan - Yes...

Alan - Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

Ryan - Hmm.

Alan - Or the worst of us, in your case.

Ryan - [Glares]

---

Manushi - Don't you have it in your thing?

Ryan - I have a lot of things in my thing.

Manushi - That sounded so dirty!

Ryan - I know, that's why I said it.

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Graham - Oh, you scared the life out of me!

Ryan - You had a life?

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Shannon - I'm going to go and get some breakfast.

Ryan - I know I heard that wrong.

Matt - What?

Ryan - I know I heard that wrong.

Matt - I don't want to know.........ok, what did you think you heard him say?

Ryan - I thought he said 'I'm going to streak and get some fruit'

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Gabriel - ...and you'll be backed up by the piano.

Ryan - [Thinking] Owwww!

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Rachael - I smell like an orange.

Ryan - I didn't think oranges had senses of smell.

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Graham - I really like...argh! I like fucking curry.

Ryan - You like fucking curry?

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Graham - We're so lucky, we don't have class.

Ryan - What? You don't have class?

Graham - Hmm...What?! Damn you, you poo head!

---

Graham - Could you mind my bag? I need to go...

Mel - To the toilet?

Graham - Yeah, I need to go hit the twink.

Ryan - Hey, but I'm over here!

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Mel - Stop scratching your leg with your pencil. You're making me sick.

Ryan - Why is it making you sick?

Mel - You don't know where it's been.

Ryan - I know approximately where it's been.

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Mel - Argh! I'm going insane!

Ryan - Going insane? I thought you were already there.

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Mel - Have you written that all down?

Ryan - No, it's too hard.

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Mel - He's scratching his leg with his pencil.

Graham - With his long, hard pencil.

Ryan - Well at least I can scratch my leg with my pencil...it's long enough.

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Mel - I'm a good girl.

Ryan - No, you're not. You're a naughty girl. You need a spanking.

Mel - I like spanks.

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Ryan - When I saw you this morning you looked like 3 years younger.

Graham - That's because I drank the blood of a virgin last night.

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Ryan - Graham is one of the more bizarre people that I have ever met...

Alan - He's not bizarre...he's more than bizarre...he's Graham.

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Graham - [wraps a length of paper towel around Ryan's head]

Alan - It's about time someone covered that up.

Ryan - [Raises middle finger in tribute to Alan]

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Alan - I'm going to check my hole to see if there's anything in it.

Ryan - While you're at it could you check mine too, please?

Alan - I'll see how far my hand goes.........our holes are empty.

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Mel - We just missed our train.

Ryan - Yeah, I know.

Graham - Like a dog that misses its train.

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Ryan - Flarp [Natural...mix between the ' f ', and ' l ' of 'flat' and the ' a ', ' r ', and ' p ' of 'sharp']

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Ryan - Fuck me with a minim.

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Ryan - Why did I write a triad?

Graham - Because you're Asian, and in a gang.

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Graham - I call this dance the fanciful unicorn.

Ryan - What is so fanciful about it? What is it about it that you fancy?

Graham - It's horn. Its hard...and ribbed.

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Alan - I feel like chicken on a stick...but, alas, I have neither chicken, nor a stick.

Ryan - You don't have a stick? That's worrying.

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Ryan - Graham, come here. Come somewhere.

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Rachael - Does anyone want to get with me for some food?

Alan - Does anyone want to get with you?

Rachael - What I was meaning to say was, "Does anyone want to come with me and get some food?"

Ryan - Does anyone want to come with you?

Rachael - [Falls down in hysterics]

Ryan - I'd like to, but I'd like to keep my mobility...

Alan - Yes, I'd rather keep my mobility and save some for later.

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Rachael - I'm losing my sandwich.

Ryan - Don't drop your lunch!

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Ryan - I like polar fleece.

Rachael - I'm sure you do.

Alan - It's good for warming the bears.

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Ryan - Blatant blasphemism.

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Ryan - [Opens his eyes and sees Alan walk in] Argh! It's hideous! Get it out of here!

Alan - [Pauses, then goes to throw Graham off his chair]

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Ryan - There's definitely a lot of non-verbal communication to be had.

Alan - I say we keep it that way. [looks at Ryan]

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Ryan - Soulful faeces. [This was an auto-correction alteration on my computer. I was trying to type 'Soulful pieces'...but I mistyped 'pieces', and the computer thought I was trying to type 'faeces'...computers...]

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Ryan - You see, Alan? Your glasses are porn star glasses...they make him act like a porn star.

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Ryan - Mel is getting high on Alan's glasses.

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Ryan - Poetic injustice!

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Ryan - Argh!

Alan - What? What did you see? Was it Dick Smith or a mirror?

Lauren - Maybe he saw Smith's Dick.

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Sharon - I can't count the hours of study I've done.

Ryan - Neither can I, but probably for a different reason.

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Ryan - If 'you only get out what you put in' is true...then how does the process of defecating work?

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Ryan - Goodnight, fartypants.

Mel - I don't fart...only on people's heads! Just you remember that the next time you shit me.

Ryan - Hehe, I will.

Rachael - We'll have to ask dusty about that one.

---

Mel ...Shut up.

Ryan - Wha? Why are you telling me to shut up? What have I done?

Mel - What haven't you done?

Ryan - Fucked a horse.

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Ryan - I like your pic, Gra. You look like a maniac.

Rachael - What do you mean 'looks like'? He is one.

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Ryan - Then who stole the monkeys from the elephant jar?

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Ryan - Say 'hold onto something' to two males when the topic of convo is dick cheese and what do you think they'll think of to hold on to?

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Ryan - A forbidden tale of angst and forbidden love...the toaster and the fork. Romeo and
Juliet...kitchen style.

Rachael - Rightyhothen

Rachael - That's going a little tooo far

Graham - The orange and the cat's anus! There's forbidden love for you!

Ryan - [becomes confused]

Graham - You know...orange! Piece-o-fruiteywoot!

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Ryan - Its moments like these you need...a duck.

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Ryan - Dogs...The next Weapons of Mass Destruction? [click for associated pic]

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Rachael - Another moment of my temporary insanity.

Ryan - You're not insane...just quotable. Now, Graham, here...he's both insane AND quotable.

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Ryan - Powder chowder.

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Ryan - I told Manni about your "I eat food for lunch" quote, and she wonders what you eat for
dinner.

Graham - Oh...quite a difficult question...fraught with...difficulty. Food!

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Ryan - Graham...when did you become a harbinger of goats?

Rachael - What?!

Graham - When I was 2.

Ryan - How did that feel?

Graham - it felt goooooooood.... mmmmm......

Rachael - Trust him to ask a question like that.

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Ryan - I love my quote site, It's like my baby

Rachael - It's fantastic.

Ryan - Thank you.

Ryan - That puts an interesting spin on our interpersonal relationships with each other now,
doesn't it?

Rachael -Yes, it does.

Ryan - It's like..."who's the mothe...the fathe....the...um...who's the...something?"

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Ryan - I was thinking what it would be like to ask at the drive through MacDonald's..."I'll
have a double serving of dildoes with fries, thanks"...

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Ryan - I wish sneezing gave you an orgasm. I'd imagine pepper would be a highly valued
substance.

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Graham - I like monkeys!

Ryan - Dare I ask why?

Graham - 'Cos they create chaos wherever you happen to completely shave, lubricate, and
release them...that is, take a monkey, shave it from head to toe, dip it in lube, and
release in, say, a library.

Ryan - Thank you for being so wonderfully quotable, my little bundle of chaos.

---

Ryan - ..I think Graham is an awaynus anus.

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Graham - A lot of people believe that humans are the only animals that have
emotions, but I think that's completely wrong...take, for instance, Alex's dog...if she's
done something wrong and you yell at her and put her outside, she gets so spiteful! When
she comes back in, she'll deliberately do something evil to you, like piss in your bed.
She's done that to all the members of Alex's family.

Ryan - I saw on the tv a thing about a pet magpie that would emulate the sound of ducks to
trick these dogs into racing down to the pond. Then, when the dogs realised that there were
no ducks, the magpie would preen itself, which is, apparently, a 'I'm satisfied with myself'
response...or some story like that...it was very funny.

Graham - That's fucken funny! I wanna meet this magpie.

Ryan - It's probably cacked it by now, but you never know.

Graham - It's probably sitting in it's home, writing a novel about its crazy exploits as we
speak.

Ryan - Hacker magpies. Inserting worms into the internet...or taking them out.

Graham - Whoa! It's all coming together now!

Ryan - It is?

Graham - Yes! It's the magpies that are in control!

Ryan - I thought it was the cats...or the mice...was it mice or rats?

Graham - Mice!

Ryan - Thought so.

Graham - Mice, as we see them, are in fact the projection of pan-dimensional beings from
another plane of existence.

Ryan - I don't remember that bit. Pan-dimensional...yes, other plane...yes...projection, no.

Graham - Ahh. Well, because they're from another dimension and stuff, their real forms
cannot be in this dimension, because physics and everything wouldn't allow it...they would
be completely incomprehensible.

Ryan - Hmmm...sounds like a job for the reality lawyers.

Graham - Indeed...

---

Graham - I'm watching bowling for columbine.

Ryan - I thought you said, "I'm watching blowjob for columbine."

Graham - All that porn surfing has altered your word recognition!

Ryan - Yeah, yeah.

---

Graham - How are you feeling?

Ryan - O.K. ...tired

Graham - Yeah... you seem quite "off with the pixies"...I ask you this, however...are the
pixies fucking?

Ryan - No, they suck. They're the oral sex pixies...they come into your bed and give you
blowjobs while you're asleep. I created them last year or so.

Graham - Oooh! That's cool! Where do they come from?

Ryan - I've never really thought of that. Faeryland, I suppose.

Graham - Hmmm. "Blowjob Pixies now available at Faeryland! (Magic dust not included)"

Ryan - What does the magic dust do?

Graham - It's like speed for pixies... it makes them go faster, harder, stronger, and
longer.

---

Graham - Fuck...dad brought home a lobster today, and it's still alive in this polystyrene
box...I went out to get a drink, and I could hear it scratching against the side of the box.

Ryan - Creepy.

Graham - God damn! I don't want it to escape in the night and EAT me! That's probably what
it's thinking of us.

Ryan - Are you sure? A rimjob from a lobster might be quite pleasurable.

Graham - I don't think I could trust it. Don't they have those big claws?

Ryan - One, usually, I think. The males do, anyway...one bigger than the other. I think
that's how it works.

Graham - That's right! I'd have a look, but the damn thing might fly out and rip my throat
out.

---

Graham - Have a good..."one."

Ryan - Oh, I shall. I might even have a good "two."

Graham - Or "three."

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Graham - You gonna be going anywhere these holidays?

Ryan - Since there is nothing planned at the moment, then probably not.

Graham - Same here.

Ryan - But, you know how these things go...could end up who-knows-where.

Graham - Yeah, sometimes it's like that.

Ryan - Especially if you accidentally fall into a catapult.

---

Ryan - You know, if I were a trumpet player, I could so play a trumpet using my arse at the
moment.

Graham - What makes you say that?

Ryan - Use your imagination.

Graham - That's so wrong!

Ryan - Exactly! What's the point of not saying it?

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Ryan - Even for dialup I'm running fucking slow.

Graham - Sproing!

Ryan - Not at the moment...no sproings here.

Graham - I hate that.

Ryan - Slow dialup or no sproing?

Graham - Slow dialup.

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Ryan - Will there ever be a fudge?

Graham - What?

Ryan - I don't know...oh tree to thee I spree.

Graham - Jesus...you ARE bored.

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Graham - O.K., I'm back!

Ryan - Are you just?

Graham - I am...."just."

Ryan - You're on the ball tonight.

Graham - Am "I" "just"?

Ryan - Well, you may or may not be on a ball, but you certainly are on the proverbial ball.

Graham - Ahh, I seeeee...dogness.

---

Graham - From hereon in, you shall be known as...crustacean boy.

Ryan - Why?

Graham - Because...I am one with the shellfish.

---

Graham - Don't you LOVE trippy visualisation thingies on media playing programs?

Ryan - Sometimes.

Graham - I think they're the best thing since trombone-playing orang-utans...more fun than a bucket of donkeys.

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Ryan - [To Graham] You know...I'm going to end up buying more webspace because of you.

[Because of all his quotes taking up webspace]

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Graham - Ok, you know how they've got that ad on tv for that www.gaymatchmaker.com?

Ryan - Yes.

Graham - Ok, I know what a twink, daddy, tub, sub, and a dom is, but what the fuck is a "bear"?

Ryan - A hairy person...very hairy...and usually a bit on the chubby side. A cub is similar, but with less hair.

---

Graham - Dammit...I dripped sweet chilli sau...err...I mean...baby blood on my pants.

Ryan - What are you actually eating?

Graham - A sandwich with cheese, chicken loaf and sweet chilli sauce on brown bread.

Ryan - Eclectic

Graham - Like an eclectic hen and about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Ryan - Do the mice carry the plague?

Graham - No, they carry drunken houndchicken syndrome for they are as mixed up as a bunch of puppies on a ferris wheel.

Ryan - Is the ferris wheel a Mormon?

---

Ryan - Jiggle around the circle of synonyms!

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Ryan - I used to be 15...and when I was 15 there were a lot of other people who were 15 at the time...and now I'm 19 and there are still a lot of people who are 15...and there are a lot of people who are leaving being 15 and turning 16, but more 14 year olds are still being promoted to 15 years of age every day. Greatest feat of disorganised co-ordination ever.

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Graham - My dog likes cheese.

Ryan - Your knob likes cheese?

Graham - No, my dog.

---

Ryan - I wonder what would happen if we all got together and ran our own fast food joint

Mel - Oh my God! I don't want to think about it! I could see Jaclyn..."Would you like some whatever with that?"

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Mel - Melani's Special: Yehaa soup!

Ryan - Yehaa soup? ...Oh, God...

Mel - How funny would that be?

Ryan - Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God...

Mel - It just clicked, didn't it?

[Yeah, there's a back story to this one...and it's not pretty. This is the way I remember it. Mel once told us of a time when she was at a beach or something outdoors, where she and a friend chanced upon a rather rotund woman during her period and a man having sex with each other. During this intimate act, the man was shouting out 'Yehaah!' and had menstrual blood displayed rather visibly on his clothing, which he was still wearing all the time. At this point the couple weren't aware that they were there, but later, after the couple were finished and the man walked away, my friend walked past the man and shouted 'Yeehah!' out to him...yes, children...it's a sick sad world. - Ryan]

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Tom - Do a little dance...do a little dance [dances]...dance...dance...

Ryan - See that girl, watch that scene, you are the dancing queen, Tom.

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Ryan - Stop making the ball get bigger.

Tom - I like big balls.

---

Sarah - What's with the beard? Is this so we can pull you around with?

Ryan - No, it's for stroking...I like stroking things.

[This crazy girl actually grabbed my beard and *pulled*...while there was no lasting pain, it still hurt at the time. - Ryan ]

---

Alan - What should you avoid at all times?

Ryan - Consecutive octaves...unsafe sex...

Alan - Unless you're Catholic.

---

Ryan - By technical, I mean the flableghast of tooka.

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Alan - B.D.F.B.: Big damn fucker of Brighton.

Ryan - Who do you know that lives in Brighton?

Alan - I don't know, but he's a big damn fucker!

---

Jac - I've got a lesson: bassoon.

Ryan - Soooon!

Jac - No, "bassoon"! Not "soon"!

---

Alan - They have a test; we aren't in the hall.

Ryan - We might have it in room 10.

Jac - The people with talks can go in there and we'll just stay out here.

Ryan - Aaaand...they can present their talks...toooooo...obliviaaaannnn!

Jac - It's pretty much the same thing when they're talking to us, anyway.

---

Ryan - That's the pointy point thingie of pointiness point that I am pointing at.

Jac - Do you even make sense to yourself?

Ryan - Not always. That's why I'm always so confused.

---

Ryan - Thingamy.

Mel - Did you just say "finger me"?

Alan - Did you just say "finger me"?

Ryan - No! I said "thingamy"! "Thingamy!", you dirty people!

---

Alan - [Sticks finger up]

Ryan - Alan...public.

Alan - Then why are you here?

Ryan - [Glares]

Alan - Don't you like public?

Ryan - I like pubic.

---

Rob (D) - Don't you do any digital enhancing.

Ryan - [Looks down at crotch]

---

Stefan - Do you want me to hit you on the head?

Ryan - No.

Stefan - On the cheek?

Ryan - On the tit?!

Stefan - No, on the cheek.

---

Mel - [Hitting people over the head with a rolled up bit of paper] [Whack] Ding-dong! [Whack] Ding-dong! [Whack] Ding-dong!

Ryan - Mel has a ding-dong.

---

Ryan - I was all tied up from doing my project.

Robert (L)- [Suggestively] It wouldn't be the first time.

---

Ryan (N) - [Gives his (rather short) going away speech]

Somebody - Come on! Speech!

Ryan (N) - That was a speech.

Ryan - We want more of you!

Ryan (N) - Yes. That's what I've heard about you.

---

Ryan (N) - Stick it up the arse.

Aaron - See? That's proof that he's gay!

Ryan - What? That doesn't mean he's gay. I can say "PUSSY! PUSSY! PUSSY!", and that doesn't make me straight.

James (R) - No, that just makes you sound more gay.

---

Alan - He [Ryan] must be used to losing things. He keeps on losing his dignity.

Ryan - I loose bits of paper a lot. I don't think I had my dignity to begin with. So, how could I lose something I never had in the first place?

---

Ryan - ...got any suggestions?

Steph - She wasn't making suggestions.

Mel - No, I was suggesting he keeps warm by making fire...like caveman!

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Ryan - My spoon is standing up.

Mel - Whee! It's happy.

---

Ryan - Mozart in a box. Just add water.

---

Ryan - Go, go gadget sarcastic retort!

---

Jason - There is no labour in the house of the Lord, only service.

Graham - Sorry, Jesus. I won't service you. I'm not that kind of boy.

Ryan - Where the fuck's my quote book?!

---

Ryan - Give me that. I can type faster than I can type. Damn.

---

Graham - Reach with your long arms.

Ryan - I thought you said "Reach with your orgasms"

---

Ryan - Embarrassment in a barrel.

Alan - Like the rest of your life.

---

Ryan - Sleep's so good. Sleep's so fine. Sleep's so great it blows my mind.

Jac - That's the worst rhyme ever.

Ryan - It's the Mickey Mouse thing.

Jac - Yeah, I know. That's the worst version of it I've heard.

---

Mel - You're not allowed to have hot chocolate next time you go to coffee HQ

Rach - Why?

Mel - Because I had a white chocolate yesterday and it was love at first sip

Ryan - [Starts cacking himself laughing]

Mel - Yes, it was creamy...creamy warm liquid running down my throat.

[I've personally tried one of these white hot chocolates. They're really, really nice. - Ryan]

---

Ryan - [Re: Alan] Is he coming later?

Graham - It depends on who he's with.

---

Ryan - This is testing on my sanity.

Graham - What sanity?

---

Mel, Graham, Rach, Ryan - Bye, bye, [etc]

Shannon (Not P)- Gay.

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Ryan - Cara, did you clean the [mouse] cage out before you bought it on the train?

Cara - [Shakes head]

Ryan - Next time, would you please? They really smell...bad.

Barron - You're not much better.

---

Ryan - Is plastic picked up by metal detectors?

---

Ryan - ...he's an oboe player.

Tim - Hot instrument.

Ryan - It's a great sound. Better than the clarinet in my opinion.

Tim - That's debatable.

Ryan - True...well, no, it's not, because I said "in my opinion."

Tim - Bad oboe can sound like a cow on helium having an orgasm.

---

Ryan - I wonder what it would be like to distil caffeine.

Jac - I don't know, but we shouldn't give it to Graham.

---

Ryan - Obey my ubbies!

---

Danielle - ...ubbidere (to obey), which has nothing to do with boobies. [glares at Ryan]
Ryan - Hey, if it works...
Danielle - ...don't knock it...knockers...

---

Ryan - Remember if you forget.

---

Jac - I've got too much energy.

Ryan - So you've got too much energy, so feel like you need to spend it, but that takes too much effort?

Jac - Something like that. You should put that in your quote book.

Ryan - [Starts typing]

---

Ryan - You have really long toes.

Lauren - I know. I also have long fingers, long arms, and long legs. I have really long appendages. Thank goodness I'm not male. Actually, if I were a male, I guess I'd be rather pleased.

---

Jac - Are you all right?

Ryan - I will be...yeah. I've just got morning-itis.

Jac - What? As opposed to all-day-itis?

---

Ryan - Hmm...I can stroke it again.

---

Alan - Do I ever take one of those off you? [Yoghurt covered fruit] Would you quit it? They look like small rabbit's testicles.

Ryan - But they taste really good.

Alan - So do rabbit's testicles.

Ryan - Damn it! Do you have to be quotable while I'm eating?

---

Ryan - [Undoes Alan's shoelace]

Alan - Hey!

Ryan - That was for whacking off with my shoe the other day.

Alan - Yeah...did you just say "whacking off with your shoe"?

Ryan - I...er...yes. Yes, I did.

---

Ryan - [On 'Dido and Aneas', to Guy] There's a huge orgy scene in this one, I think.

Guy - I don't think there is. This was done for an all girls school.

Ryan - ...OK...there was no orgy scene. There should be a porn version of it though. 'Dildo and Anus'. Something like that.

Guy - Or 'Dildo in Anus'

Ryan - Yeah, I like that one.

---

Carol - What do you want for dinner?

Ryan - Less confusion.

Carol - I'm not sure if I know how to cook that.

---

Ryan - I have decided that all this indecision makes my brain itch.

---

Jac - Nobody loves you, everybody hates you. Why don't you go eat some worms?

Ryan - Long ones, fat ones, short ones, skinny ones. Worms! Worms worms worms worms!

Mel - I knew I forgot to ask them to put something else on my sandwich.

Karen - The worms would have given you more protein.

Ryan - [Clamps hand over mouth] Will be good! Will be good! Will be good!

Mel - Yes, we know what else has protein in it.

Karen - Well, it comes out of a worm.

---

Mel - Is tall O.K.?

Rachael - Yeah.

Ryan - But Alan's not all that tall.

Mel - He can be.

---

Rachael - I could hit him, but Lauren is in the way.

Ryan - Nah. He's probably enjoy it too much.

---

Ryan - Do you have any serious objections to [your quote] being [on the quote site]?

Alan - You know me. I don't object to anything.

Matt - Hey hey!

---

Ryan - ...just when you thought you'd lost all innocence, you find yourself stripped of more.

---

Rachael - Can you complain in German?

Ryan - Nein...no, not really. I mean, I suppose I could go, "Ach! Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!"

Jac - Can't you get to ten?

Alan - He wouldn't like to step past his marker.

---

Rob - I love your bag.

Ryan - He's going to marry your bag and have little baguettes.

---

Ryan - I usually only do stuff when the whim takes me...not when other people tell me to.

Alan - Wherever the wind takes you?

Ryan - No, whim. Whenever the whim takes you.

Alan - I usually go out on a whim often.

---

Mel - Someone's got PMS. Pass me shit.

Ryan - Sorry Mel, I'm not into scat.

Mel - Are you sure?

Graham - I'm sure he his.

---

Rachael - In grade five this little shit kept flicking me in the back of the neck because I had pigtails. It was a pain in the arse.

Ryan - Well, wouldn't it have been more of a pain in the neck?

---

Rachael - [Singing] Caro mio ben...langui sheil core

Alan - Bum, bum, bum, bum.

Ryan - Breast, breast, breast, breast.

[I know the spelling is probably wrong...I'll fix it later]

---

Rach - We're trying to work out a joint party.

Ryan/Alan - A joint party?

Graham - If you wanted a joint, I could call my mate and he'll get one for you.

---

Ryan - Hey Brian. How's things? Where's my movie, biatch?

Brian - Who is this? I'm lots of peoples' bitch.

---

Ryan - Now, I know that this is totally off topic...but you may have some more experience in the matter. This will sound probably like a FAQ question, but, why does my water based, unflavoured, unscented lube, smell sweet?

Mike - I have no idea. But generally they do. Better than smelling unpleasant!

Ryan - I guess...[reading]...No added sugar or nut extracts!? What the fuck?

Mike - People are allergic to those! Well, not sugar me thinks.

Ryan - Unless you're diabetic...but that's not really an allergy.

Mike - Anorexic/diabetic faggots don't want to absorb sugar into their blood stream through the anal wall!

Ryan - Well thanks for that. That put things into a bit of perspective for me.

Mike - I actually think that may be the case though, in regards to diabetics, 'cos they would absorb it. So, yeah.

Ryan - Well, what you said makes sense. Heh...the eventualities you'd have to take into consideration when you're discussing lube recepies.

Mike - Basically nothing other than water and entirely synthetic stuff.

Ryan - The Lube advisory board of Australia...LABA.

Mike - Fit in an "i"...LABIA.

Ryan - The Lube Advisory Board In Australia...that's all I can come up with. I'll have a think about it though.

---

Mike - Can I put this convo in my quote book?

Mike - What parts of it? By all means.

Ryan - Oh, just the bit about the lube.

Mike - I didn't think I was particularly amusing.

Ryan - Convos about lube not funny? Come on. Lighten up. Where's your fag team spirit?

Mike - Off with the fairies!

---

Danielle - [Talking about irregular verbs in Italian]

Ryan - Hasn't had its Metamucil.

---

Alan - Why was Curly called Curly? From The Three Stooges.

Ryan - Because he wasn't.

Alan - No, because he didn't have any hair.

Ryan - Yeah. That's what I meant...perhaps the reason he was called Curly was because the only hair he did have was curly.

Alan - [Hits Ryan with writing pad]

---

Alan - ...and it shall never be brung up again.

Ryan - Bought

Erin - Brought

Ryan - Yes. She's correct. I was more correct than you, though.

Alan - But you said bought, so you corrected me incorrectly.

Ryan - Correct.

---

Alan - [Sitting in between Graham and Ryan, with Ryan doing the Macarena to a baroque aria] I want to talk to someone more sane, but I don't know which way I should turn.