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How South is Too South?
23rd January 2005, 7.55pm
Sometimes I like to kid myself and pretend that
the Bachelor of Science degree I have actually means that I'm some
kind of scientist. That I didn't do a double-major in psychology
and barely manage to pass, that I didn't drop out of chemistry
in first-year because it was too hard, that I didn't drop out of
biology the year after for the same reason, that it's not true
I never even bothered with physics because I'd had so much trouble
with it in the last year of high-school, that the only subjects
I enjoyed or was any good at weren't Russian Language 101 (which
I was allowed to do for a short time within the constraints of
the B.Sc. degree) and History and Philosophy of Science (though,
to be honest I wasn't particularly good at HPS, but I loved it
anyway).
Sometimes I like to pretend that by virtue of
having that piece of paper with "B.Sc" written on it,
despite the faux-arts degree that my tertiary education actually
was, I'm a clever science-y kind of person. I kid myself that being
a nerdy type who reads superhero comics, watches cartoons and buys
action figures on eBay necessarily implies that I also am a brainy
science-type person. I attempt to fan these meagre flames with
an email subscription to New Scientist (which I hardly
ever read) and the occasional purchase of a cosmology special edition
of Scientific American. I also
have a small amount of popular science books on the bookshelf in
the back room, quite a few of which I have actually read, and some
of which I have actually understood to the degree that if you asked
me to explain something about quantum mechanics, say, or what cosmic
background radiation actually is, I might be able to cobble together
a convincing reply.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm
not beating myself up here. I just find it hard to concentrate
on science stuff long enough for it to stick in my brain. Whole
Strong Bad emails or episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, no problem.
But wave-particle duality or superstring theory? My articulations
on such subjects are vague at best, wholly incorrect at worst.
That's why I like Tania Ritchie. She's got those
science smarts by the bucketload. She's a physicist - a rooly,
truly honest fair dinkum physicist. I met her a few years ago at
the National Young Writers Festival in Newcastle, which she was
participating in because of her wonderful zine, Nerdling,
each issue of which is filled with irreverent, user-friendly and
easy-to-understand articles about science in all its myriad forms
and applications, combined with a healthy dose of science-fiction
geekery. An issue of Nerdling might have an essay about
the Platonic solids, followed by a story where Tania and a friend
borrow a Geiger counter from the Physics Department and go looking
for radioactive uranium glass in Sydney's antique shops, and then
you'll find an article about what would actually happen
if you stepped out of an airlock.* Reading Nerdling is
like having a conversation with Tania about science and that sort
of thing - her enthusiasm for it is intoxicating and she manages
to get it across to you, whatever it is she's talking about, in
a way that you can actually understand.
As if the ease with which she walks through the
hallowed halls of scientific thought wasn't enough to inspire a
degree of low-key "gee, I wish I could do that" in my
good self, now Tania's doing a short-tem placement at Davis Base
in Antarctica, installing and maintaining some kind of crazy scientific
muckamuck measurement device-thingy (there's that science degree
working for me) that measures the cosmic background radiation (and
I lied earlier - I can't explain what the hell cosmic background
radiation is). And she's blogging as she does it. I didn't realise
until she told me she was doing it, but I think I want to go to
Antarctica, too. I don't have any really good reason for wanting
to go, it's just that, now that I actually know someone who's been
there, it seems like being in Antarctica is something that could
actually happen to you, instead of just something that happens
to people you see in documentaries and read about in books.
It's patently obvious that, being as many rungs
below Ms. Ritchie on the "knows a lot about science-y things" ladder,
my status as a scientist is in no way going to help me get to Antarctica.
But there is another way. When the path of science is blocked by
one's own incapacity, then the path of art must needs suffice.
How fortunate, then, that every eighteen months the Australian
Antarctic Division takes an artist-in-residence down south to soak
up the environment and channel it into their art. You know, write
epic poems about vast all-consuming whiteness, or take breath-stealing
photos of the majestic icescapes - that sort of thing. And I say
if they want deeply-felt and emotionally charged art inspired by
the still, majestic and icy Australian Antarctic Territories, then
I'm happy to provide them with it. As Allah and all you time-wasting
office-monkeys are my witness, I hereby declare that 2005 is the
year that I will attempt to use my artistic wiles to propel myself
as far south as one procrastinating writery-type-guy can go before
only being able to go north, no matter what direction he travels
in.
(And yes, I do realise that Davis Base isn't
actually on the precise location of the geographical South Pole,
but do allow me some poetic license, won't you? Thanks.)
Related links:
slush:
Nerdling in Antarctica
Nerdling

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