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Most Likely to Succeed.
12th July 2004, 12.08am
I know you're not supposed to be competitive
about these things, so let me just say from the outset that I'm
dead impressed, but ego being what ego is, there's part of my brain
that's kind of disappointed. My fifteen-year high-school reunion
is coming up in November (we didn't have a ten-year reunion, I
think mainly because nobody could be bothered organising it) and
I was kind of looking forward in a Romy and Michelle I-invented-postits-and-the-nerd-with-the-helicopter-likes-me
kind of way to coming back to the home town crowd as a published
author. Like, hey - look at me, I'm a published author! Take that guy-who-used-to-beat-me-up-and-is-now-in-real-estate-living-five-blocks-from-his-parents-house!
Take that pretty-girl-who-I-always-had-a-crush-on-but-who-went-out-with-the-guy-who-used-to-beat-me-up-and-is-now-in-real-estate-living-five-blocks-from-his-parents-house!
Take that various-other-people-who-I-have-low-level-dislike-for-because-of-some-vague-reason-that-I-don't-properly-understand-but-which-probably-has-more-to-do-with-the-innate-alienation-of-adolescence-and-less-to-do-with-anything-that-ever-actually-happened!
You know the drill.
Isn't it interesting how, when films like Donnie
Darko come out, everybody identifies with the lonely teenage
loser without friends that the sporty guys all picked on? If
everyone was that guy or girl back in high school, who the hell
was doing all that bullying?
So there I was, thinking, "Hey, published
author. Alright! That's got to be top of the pile in the impressive
and intellectual career paths," when I find out that Anna
Brownfield now makes porn. Not just porn, either. Feminist porn.
Holy damn. Now that's impressive. To top it off there are at least two interviews online
with Anna being extremely articulate and smart and funny and charming
about the whole thing.
So on the one hand, go Anna. That's fucking excellent.
Well done. But on the other, poo. I'm not gonna be the one the
nerd with the helicopter takes home after all.
It's a good thing these kind of things aren't
competitions.

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