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Seven Dates that Were Ruined by Giant Monsters
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Why I Really Need to Get out of This City (excerpt)

5. Tracy Evans - Friday 20th February, 2000.

My housemate Tran set me up with Tracy. He was sick to death of hearing me whinge about my recently unsuccessful love-life. I met her at one of those "hidden" bars in the CBD that everybody knows the name of, stepping over the vomit puddles and syringes that littered the obscure back-alley laneway which led to the seemingly barricaded entrance. Tracy was sitting at a corner table by herself, sipping a gin and tonic. I introduced myself and she stood up to shake my hand. Our voices were only just audible over the DJ's choice of up-to-the-minute noise. I excused myself for a moment and grabbed an overpriced beer from the bar before rejoining her. Conversation was slow-going, especially with the omnipresent beats, but she seemed nice enough.

We were both shy, and a little nonplussed about being out on a blind date, but we made an effort to entertain each other anyway. After a couple of drinks I suggested that we grab some dinner somewhere, and pretty soon we were in a cute little yakuza-run Japanese restaurant sharing bowls of agedashi tofu and nasu dengaku. I excused myself to go to the toilet and when I got back she was talking to the guy sitting at the table behind ours. Turned out he was an old friend of hers from high-school who'd gone on to join the city's damage-control unit. He was charming the pants off Tracy, bragging about his close encounters with Nerodon and King Zenah, showing off in high-resolution detail about rescuing grandmothers from the claws of Batroxigon and finding children still alive in the collapsed basements of buildings destroyed by Gaijantizu and her Twelve Twin Sisters.

I took my seat after being introduced and watched Tracy's eyes sparkle and heard her make quiet thrilled noises at the back of her throat as Mister Damage Control went on and on about himself. After ten minutes I got up, paid the bill and left without either of them noticing me. On the way home the train was diverted to avoid a battle between the Neutrazilla Posse and Harmonadon. Everyone in the carriage rushed to the window to get a better look, but I pretended to be absorbed by the torn copy of MetNews on the seat beside me.

The complete version of this story, featuring all seven dates in full cringeworthy detail, was published in Daikaiju! Giant Monster Stories, available from Agog! Press.